Depression: Conversation Starters

Depression can be hard to talk about. But if a friend or loved one shows signs of having depression, having a conversation about getting help can make a big difference. Use these tips to start talking.

Show you care.

You can say:

• “How are you feeling? I’m here to listen to you and support you.”
• “I’m concerned about you. I think you may need to talk to someone about depression. I want you to get the help you need to feel better.”
• “I'd really like to spend more time with you. Let’s take a walk, grab something to eat, or go to a movie.”
• “It seems like something has been on your mind lately. Do you want to talk about it?”

Offer hope.

You can say:

• “You're not alone. Many people have depression — it's nothing to be ashamed of.”
• “Depression is treatable. Getting help is the best thing you can do.”
• “Many people get better with treatment — even people who have severe depression.”
• “There are different ways to treat depression, including therapy and medicine.”
• “There are many new treatments for depression that you might not have tried yet.”

Offer to help.

You can say:

• “Let me help you figure out what’s going on. You can start by making an appointment with your doctor — or I can help you find someone else to talk to, like a counselor, therapist, or social worker.”
• “I can give you a ride to your therapy appointment or remind you to take your medicine.”
• “You can call or text me at any time if you need support — or if you just want to talk.”
• “Getting more physical activity can help with stress and make you feel better. Would you like to go for a walk together this weekend?”

Ask life-saving questions.

For example, you might ask: “Have you felt hopeless or thought about hurting or killing yourself recently? I'm here for you. Let's contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. We can call or text 988 — or chat with someone online at chat.988lifeline.org.

If you think someone’s in immediate danger, call 911.